If that was your dad, he is hot
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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