Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.