very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
