(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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