you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
