you guys were way drunker than both of me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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