I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
false alarm. still invincible.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
