I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
