So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
