I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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