Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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