Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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