I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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