i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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