He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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