At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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