its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
