I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
