im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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