Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
