He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
