so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
