Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im six kinds of drunk right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize