He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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