Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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