She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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