I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
