have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
