Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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