But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
