guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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