My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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