I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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