Kiss
Puke
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
