.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We smell like vodka and hangover
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