Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
