? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
