This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
