I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
