I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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