so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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