Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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