PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
