I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
