i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
