have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
