i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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