She announced her abortion via fbk
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
