Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
