great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I puked a lego.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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