Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
