I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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