i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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