it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
