After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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